Shreveport leads the country in cutting edge culinary delicacies. Whether it be artisanal ice box pies (the secret is the food coloring!), donuts that taste like every other donut you’ve ever had, or pizza that is equal parts butter and not-butter – Shreveport has it all!
Shreveport is a town that cares deeply about one crucial condiment above all else – salad dressing. Move over Kraft Classic Catalina! We’re talking real salad dressing, and nobody in the South does it better than Shreveport.
1. Walk-On’s Bistreaux & Bar. A newcomer, but WOW did they come to town on a mission! Even though one doesn’t immediately think salad when at Walk-Ons (I mean burgers, beer, babes – yowza!) this cozy Youree Drive pub made waves by introducing their Zydeco Salad. It comes with a Maple Cane Vinaigrette – that’s TWO natural sources of sugar in ONE dressing. Impressive!
2. The Cub Lounge. When you think of The Cub you either think of steaks grilled to perfection or “that place where I last ran into my stepdad.” Usually populated with an odd mix of sorority girls and rough 50 year olds trying to stay away from their families, this dive has been around for the past seventy years. One underrated element of their recipe for success – their salad dressing. Sure the actual salad may be rubbery iceberg lettuce from a bag, but that’s why you get the dressing on the side. I suggest the luke-warm Ranch.
3. The Oyster Bar. Truly a crown jewel of the River City. Once you step into the strip mall aesthetic and slide into your wobbly seat, you’ll never want to leave. Mainly it’s because you can’t since their floors are somehow always sticky. Never fear! After sucking down some oysters (and then spitting them out again) you simply must order the Mahi Mahi Salad (when in Rome!) with the House Dressing on the side (trust us!).
4. Sushi Gen. Now I may not have “gone there” and “ate their food,” but what I can say is that it’s total bullshit how they closed Sake Sushi, right? I mean why did they jack up the rent along Youree? Sure the food wasn’t spectacular but the lunch specials were solid and I always felt like I got my money’s worth. Oh yeah, go to Sushi Gen and get the Seaweed Salad with Honey Ranch Dressing or whatever.
5. Glenwood Tea Room. Pinkies up babies! If you’re going to have something called the Glenwood Regal Salad you better be one classy mother fucker. You may feel more like you’re drinking popurri than tea, but at least all the old dames are making eyes at you. The Glenwood Regal Salad comes with Lemon Pepper Sweet Cream Dressing but remember – keep it classy and order it on the side.
6. Yeero-Yeero. As far as I know this place is drive-thru only, it does not have any seating inside. Therefore you’ll have to order your food and then do the “Shreveport Sit” in the parking lot, letting that car run like an overworked horse panting in the 100 degree heat. Yell your order into the intercom, wait for an indecipherable voice to scream, then proceed to the window and pray that your order isn’t butchered. Get the Athenian Garden Salad with Greek Dressing on the side. “Mmmfph rumph nerph?” “I SAID ON THE SIDE. FIX YOUR INTERCOM”.
7. Superior’s Steakhouse. “Where the Shreveport Elite Go to Eat” and “Shreveport Young Professional $30k Millionaires Go For Happy Hour.” We don’t care about these offensive labels, we’re there for salad dressing. As I heard once from a Shreveport millionaire (real story) “wedge salads are so last year.” Well we’re bringin’ ‘em back! Order that Superior’s Wedge, stare down your dinner guests if they smirk, and Caesar Dressing on the side because it’s what you do with a wedge salad for christssake.
8. Southfield Grill. Wheel your pappy out of the home and into a disappointing meal! He’ll be praying for warm jello and week-old ham by the time you get the bill. Be sure to wear your Obama “HOPE” t-shirt in order to win favor with the locals. My recommendation is the Fried Chicken Salad because salads aren’t supposed to be healthy you damn rabbit food eating hippie! Order American(!) Ranch Dressing to make it out alive.
9. Twisted Root Burger Co. Hey fellow dude or dudette! Want to go to a radical place? Of course Mom and Dad won’t understand (kids only, man!). Twisted Root has all the spiciest memes and the gnarliest burgers to be your and your squad’s new hang. If you can scream your order over the constant barrage of hot cultural references (“CHUCK NORRIS,” “AVRIL LAVIGNE,” “BILL COSBY,” etc.) skip the burg’ and snag the Turkey Cobb Salad with Fried Egg and get the Chipotle Ranch on the side to make it #2edgy.
10. Yep. You knew it was coming to this. You’ve waited all this time to the big #10. Don’t worry baby birds, I’ll feed ya. MURRELL’S. You know it, you love it, you remember it fondly. But do you remember when they closed and moved to Bossier? Yeah, guess it wasn’t THAT special since you haven’t been back. Yep, they’ve still got that Green Goddess Dressing that you remember, but let’s be honest – are you ever going to go to Bossier to get it?
Remember, always order your dressing on the side. It’s a time honored tradition that dates back to the Caddo Indians themselves and we here in Shreveport take it very seriously.
God bless.