Sounding Off: Marking the Unfathomable

“Depth sounding refers to the act of measuring depth; it is often referred to simply as sounding. Sounding is finding the depth of a given point in a body of water.”

Welcome aboard, Shreveport-Bossier, to Sounding Off! This is a completely unscientific and shallow measurement of our area’s political and social flotsam and jetsam; and the aggregate effect it has on our quality of life. Wet spring weather is nothing new around here, and the banks of the Mighty Mighty Red are regularly overtopped. However, Shreveport’s drainage systems are pushed to the screaming limits after only a few seconds of steady rainfall. If 20 people spit at the same time on Youree Drive we can race cigarette boats from Stoner to Southfield. And fast water further erodes our already brutally mogulled streets. One stretch of downtown that your dear author frequents could polish rocks left in the trunk. We’ve said it previously, but we certainly hope the Mayor’s administration can develop a strategy to accelerate road repair. In the meanwhile, laugh at my helmet all you like, but I won’t be the one with a concussion after a drive to the grocery store.

Last Mark: 11 feet

Displaying the predictable regularity of a European transit strike, a local politician has watched as Indiana quickly backpedaled away from a terrible idea and thought, “Now would be a good time to do this in our fair state!” Reaffirming his apparent vow to leave no rake un-stepped-on, State Rep. Mike Johnson has filed a bill to accomplish pretty much all the things that Gov. Pence of Indiana’s bill would have. Which of course means that Johnson is forcefully denying that his bill is even remotely similar to the Indiana bill. Despite the Representative’s most strident wishing, we can read. Faced with losing potential billions in tourism and tax revenue, Indiana wizened up right quick. Louisiana needs as much economic activity as we can attract, so why is it that we can’t help but to step on our own toes at the most inopportune moment? Unless…. WAIT A MINUTE!… Rep. Johnson may actually be a genius! Perhaps it is his plan to press for the bill, make the ACLU sue to have it declared unconstitutional, sparking outrage from so-called “religious liberty” supporters, at which time he’ll start a GoFundMe campaign and solve our state budget crisis!

Or nah.

I can’t confirm this yet, but I have it on middling authority that a certain local pizza chain will be offering a “Sweep The Theater™” pizza for your next non-cis commitment ceremony.  – 1

Low voter participation in a Spring election that features arcane and tedious millage issues is a given, but we are excited about the level of civic engagement that the CPSB building construction proposal is generating. As the best selling author John Green stated, “You do not need to be a student or have a child who is a student to benefit from public education. Every second of every day of your life, you benefit from public education. So let me explain why I like to pay taxes for schools, even though I personally don’t have a kid in school: It’s because I don’t like living in a country with a bunch of stupid people.” While this is the kind of sentiment that the cynic defines as “aspirational,” it appears that the citizens of Shreveport are long overdue for a healthy and spirited exchange of ideas concerning the performance of our schools and administrators. Not to discount the dedicated efforts of so many who have fought the good fight on behalf of our students for years, but if even the militantly childless among us are paying attention, then the discussion must be universally worthwhile. + 2

Unsurprisingly, Glenn Ford was denied State compensation for the 29 years he lost to a wrongful murder conviction. It feels inappropriate to mark this event with an attempt at snark-laden wit. We’ll just leave it where it is and continue to hope that the universe knows what it’s doing, because we sure don’t.

FORECAST: 12 feet, but remember, this is a metaphorical 12 feet. We’re getting more rain at the end of the week. The anticipated actual depth could unmoor the casinos. The phrase “DooDah Parade floats” might turn into a full sentence.