Feisty Kitter-Lou may come off strong and coarse, but his good natured spirit is here to help guide you into the new year. He offers his words of wisdom, but as always, it is up to you to transform your life.
Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19)
Don’t be so stingy this week. Show some compassion, and give a homeless person a sandwich.
This week’s failed New Year’s resolution: Get organized.
Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20)
I know it’s frustrating when your pet keeps peeing in that same spot on the rug, but just take a deep breath. It’s just another opportunity to build patience.
This week’s failed New Year’s resolution: Volunteer.
Gemini (May 21-Jun. 20)
It’s time to spice your life up. Get out of your head and go play laser tag.
This week’s failed New Year’s resolution: Fall in love.
Cancer (Jun. 21-Jul. 22)
I’m sensing some obstacles in your future. Maybe just stay home and nap tonight. It’s much nicer waking up in a familiar place, than one with bars and metal toilets.
This week’s failed New Year’s resolution: Be less stressed.
Leo (Jul. 23-Aug. 22)
Congratulations! Everything seems to be going your way. Keep going with the flow.
This week’s failed New Year’s resolution: Go to the gym.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
I see your nose growing over there Virgo. Try starting the new year out with an honest, clean conscience.
This week’s failed New Year’s resolution: Spend time with family.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Don’t get down on yourself about that winter tummy pudge. It’s still cold and blustery out there; you need all the extra insulation you can get.
This week’s failed New Year’s resolution: Travel to exciting places.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Finances are looking good this week. You will finally be able to wash the mountain of laundry growing in your bedroom.
This week’s failed New Year’s resolution: Get out of debt.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
With all the holidays over and the family finally gone, you’re free to focus on yourself once again. Spend the afternoon staring in the mirror and coming up with a new look.
This week’s failed New Year’s resolution: Quit smoking.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Let your creativity show. Channel your inner Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and wear as many different colors as you possibly can.
This week’s failed New Year’s resolution: Learn something new.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
You’re looking sexy these days, Aquarius. The horde of suitors comes naturally, so no need for cologne/perfume.
This week’s failed New Year’s resolution: Eat healthy.
Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
There is illness everywhere! Stay inside. Avoid everyone.
This week’s failed New Year’s resolution: Drink less.
-Kitter-Lou B.
