Conflict between Shreveport and Bossier City looms as longstanding tension over the order of the cities name’s comes to a head. Voters will go to the polls today to make their voices heard as the state referendum to unify the two cities is put to a vote.
Shreveport and Bossier City are commonly spoken about as though they are one city already. Many residents of either one work and/or go to school in the other city. This is especially common for citizens working on bachelors and graduate degrees. In January 2013, a group of citizens from both sides of the river formally petitioned the State of Louisiana to unify the two cities under the name “Shreveport-Bossier.”
Even though there is enthusiastic support for unification, the backlash has been equally strong. Some members of the resistance groups NoBo and SoBo, hailing from the northern and southern areas of Bossier City, respectively, have gone so far as to barricade the many bridges that connect one side of the river to the other. They have formed independent maritime militias and are patrolling the middle of the Red River, making sure no waterway traffic crosses over the invisible border between the two cities. The Ellerbe Road Resistance League, better known as the ERRL, has counter-petitioned the State to annex itself completely from Shreveport (and any possibility of being associated with Bossier City).
When asked about the impending conflict, Shreveport Mayor Kendrick Lover said, “It has always been Shreveport-Bossier for as long as anyone can remember, let’s just make it official. That way there will only be one mayor.”
Holden McGroin, an aid in the office of Bossier City Mayor Flo Talker, said that the city council has contacted Budapest for advice on the matter. Bossier officials spoke with the mayor of Budapest, István Tarlós, but he had no real advice to give on the subject as the unification of the two cities was well before his time. The two cities of Buda and Pest, located on the Danube river, were officially united in 1873.
According to an anonymous source, on March 30, in an unprecedented and preemptive move to avoid all out war, the Bossier City and Shreveport Departments of Transportation met on a barge in the middle of the Red River. Apparently, all parties involved in the meeting have agreed that interstate highway signs on I-20 West bound will read Bossier City-Shreveport, while all I-20 East bound signs will read Shreveport-Bossier City. These brave peacemakers hope to stave off any major blood shed and loss of life with this compromise. Only time will tell if their efforts have worked.
All polling stations are open 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. All residents of Bossier City and the City of Shreveport, age 18 or older, are eligible to vote. Voters must present a valid, state issued form of identification.
-Malaria “That’s Unfortunate” Cockburn
*This is entirely false.