Eric Gardner
The Barstool Bard: I am Watching
I am watching you watching me, not realizing I'm watching you.
The stage and colored lights create an illusory distance,
But it is really a platform...
The Barstool Bard: The Trinidadian
I struggle to understand
The Trinidadian who
Muffles his thick accent
With a waxily calloused hand
As kazoo and electric bass
Rattle in a concrete and metal can,
Mixed with...
The Barstool Bard
I will destroy you.
Nothing you know about you
Will be the same
After me.
You will not cease to exist,
But the you that was, will disappear.
I will...
The Barstool Bard: Icy Eyes
From across the room,
Your eyes icily smolder,
Like sunlight catching
Ancient water
Imprisoned in a glacier,
Alice blue and white,
Cold and bright,
Intoxicatingly inviting,
Yet fraught with danger,
Deceptively beautiful.
Frozen and...
The Barstool Bard: Ne Plus Ultra
Perfection is not possible, only attempts to achieve,
To even try requires that we have to believe
In the possibility of reaching success,
But failure is inherent,...
The Barstool Bard: A Conversation with Myself
I’m not mad at you,
I’m mad at me.
For letting my guard down,
For letting you in,
For giving you
The benefit of the doubt,
For thinking this time...
The Barstool Bard
Sitting here and trying to think
Amidst hipster beards and clinking drinks,
Tales of dreams and lusty leers
Mix mistily with choking smoke and spilling beers,
Why do...