Bossier City, LA – Myron and Veera Manning, owners of Ol’ Glory Burritos & More, have operated their small business since 1998 in the heart of Bossier City. The small business took off immediately due to its excellent food and unique atmosphere. With the tagline of “Keeping the Mex out of Tex” the cheery restaurant pledged to serve classic “Tex-Mex” creations with patriotic names and industrial American ingredients. People can look here for the best restaurant franchise options.Stadium quality nachos are served, called “Chipz & Cheez” and unseasoned roast beef tacos are marketed as “Lil’ Davy Crockett Hammocks.” With the complete absence of vegetables from the menu, as well as all cheese being Kraft Singles American Cheese, the restaurant skyrocketed in popularity. That is, until competition began to swell in recent years. You can check out sub sandwich franchise cost here!

With the opening of Chipotle, Moe’s, Freebird’s, and Izzo’s Illegal Burrito; as well as authentic Mexican restaurants such as Ki’ Mexico & La Michoacana, Ol’ Glory Burritos & More began to plummet into obscurity and financial instability. The Mannings contacted their representative Dike Ronson to introduce legislation in order to protect them from the threat of encroaching chain restaurants and authentic, cultural fare. To their dismay, Representative Ronson stated, “I’m too busy saving the souls of all of Louisiana, nay the world, through introducing legislation to ensure that nobody picks on folks for being Christian.”

Ronson attempted to push his Keep Progress Regressive bill through the House of Representatives, only to be stymied by practically all of his peers from both sides of the aisle. “It’s not like Dike’s bill wasn’t an issue that demands careful consideration. It’s just that our committee has a lot on its plate which demands precedence – the budget, health care reform, tax code, emergency response, education – practically everything.

Yes, everything that we’re dealing with right now has precedence over perceived discrimination against a 60% religious majority in our state,” said Representative Bubba LeBlanc.

These recent legal proceedings did give Myron and Veera Manning an idea on how to revive their failing business. Taking a cue from Memories Pizza, an Indiana restaurant which came to national attention after stating it would not cater a gay wedding, the Mannings decided they would make their stance on the issue well known. “Those folks from Indiana stated that they would deny service to the gays made, like, $845,000 from the internet!” Exclaimed Myron, “all we gotta do is tell everyone we don’t like them either!”

Unfortunately there was one stumbling block to this plan. “We don’t even know where to find these ‘homosexuals’ in order to refuse them service,” said Veera. Upon interviewing the dwindling patrons of Ol’ Glory, I did find out that a small group of mostly gay men did frequent the restaurant on Sundays, after attending church. When I informed Myron and Veera about the customers, they seemed reluctant to take action. “Oh you mean Chris and his roommate Dave? They can’t be ‘homosexuals.’ They’re always polite and complement the wife on her jean vests with cats on them,” Said a consternated Myron Manning, “I reckon we’ll have to find another way to make the headlines. Maybe we’ll confront those Muslims across the street that own the Indian food restaurant.”

*This is all satire