Phase Toytim remarked that the deal will be mutually beneficial in the end and he could not be more excited to see what BearCorp does with the beloved establishment.
Bears on Fairfield has enjoyed a renaissance since transferring ownership to local Phase Toytim nearly a year ago. The bar and stage were completely remodeled, drink offerings improved, and the quantity and quality of the bands playing there on any given night were arguably the best in town. Locals have been seen twerking along with Big Freedia, enjoying the freestyle of Soul Society, or supporting local bands who were thankful for the venue.
Toytim made a radical change just a few months ago, by announcing in January that Bears will become a smoke-free venue. After initiating the ban, the community praised the endeavor with many bands chiming in to support it as well.
However, Phase Toytim announced just this afternoon that due to the success of the indoor smoking ban, he was going to initiate a new chapter for the bar – no drinking.
“People want to come out, enjoy themselves and see a show” says Toytim. “The last thing they want is some lunatic who can’t hold their liquor causing a ruckus and interrupting the band who is using their craft to create a moment for the audience.”
“Omg where am i gonna go now to gossip about mitchell chizumski? #ladiesnight #sadface” says @whiskiewednezdayz.
Although it is too early to tell, reactions on Twitter have been mixed. “Omg where am i gonna go now to gossip about mitchell chizumski? #ladiesnight #sadface” says @whiskiewednezdayz. Other tweeters chimed in to voice their disapproval with the drinking ban, which was to go into effect this evening.
Upon learning of this development, BearCorp, a corporation consisting of bears, actual bears, became interested in purchasing the bar. Headquartered in the woods between Clyde Fant Memorial Parkway and Highway 1, BearCorp has slowly been diversifying its investments; most recently with the acquisition of Hummer and Son Honey. “Now some people may look at our investment in Hummer and Son Honey as a goof, thinking we don’t see the irony in the situation,” says Brown Bearstein, “I assure you that we do see the irony, but more importantly we see a viable and profitable investment.”
When asked why BearCorp would want to invest in a bar, CEO Black Bearstein replied, “We are taking ownership of Bears on Fairfield to create a distribution model for our other products, namely Samuel Adams Honey Porter and Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey whiskey. These products were purchased individually from other companies as part of a “honeypot” scheme. We sent a really sexy bear to both companies to seduce the owners into signing over the rights.”
Phase Toytim remarked that the deal will be mutually beneficial in the end and he could not be more excited to see what BearCorp does with the beloved establishment. “In the end, they get the bar and I get to settle down with the new love of my life – Polar Bearstein.”
Photo editing by Kemerton Hargrove.