Whenever my clients and I reach the “forgiveness” discussion in our coaching relationship, the air tends get a bit thicker. At least 60% of my clientele struggle with forgiveness and being able to let go. Forgiveness is one of those things that is harder to do than most things. I’ve developed my own personal approach to forgiveness over time and thankfully, I’m still presented with issues to fine tune it (there’s opportunity in all things).
First things first: don’t take anything at all personally unless you know you did something wrong. I say this more often than you could believe. People only operate from their own personal level of awareness. How a person thinks or how they feel is about them. It has nothing to do with you. From this moment on, apply that your beliefs. It will make things a lot easier for you.
Secondly: let go of the hope for a different past. You know what I mean…you thinking “I should’ve done that, I should’ve said this then maybe…” all of that has to disappear because, truthfully, it never existed in the first place. Understand that what happened was the way that it needed to happen, when it happened. I’m positive that you’re better for it all.
Third: own how you feel. Several of my clients always end up saying “Well, I can’t believe he/she would do that to me….oh well I don’t care. I just want to move on with my life.” Let me tell you something, you absolutely, positively cannot move on (forgive them) with that attitude. You must own up to how you feel so you can let it go. If not, you have nothing to let go of. Be honest with yourself.
Fourth: focus your mind on something else. Of course, you are going to remember. How can you forget something that caused such strong emotions? You can’t and you will think of it every now and then. Most of us end up dwelling on it, and that’s where we can make a wrong turn. Just because a thought comes to mind doesn’t mean that you have to let it stay and take root. Your thoughts determine how you feel and negativity shouldn’t be allowed. Think about something else. Whenever the memory comes up, pick another thought. It’s a simple concept but very difficult to do. It can be done, and practice makes perfect!
Remember, this is your life, so make the absolute best out of it as possible. Release the negative and allow yourself to flourish!
Sending you warm & loving vibrations,
Your Life Coach
If you want to hear from me on a specific subject or just need some advice email: email@example.com. All requests are anonymous.
Photo by John de Rosier.